By Peter James

Most men aren't really clear on what they think a great lover is, but most would like to become one. So what make women sigh and tell their girlfriends about a guy after the first time they make love? What makes a man so appealing and successful with many women? First off, women like to be listened to. They like to feel that they are communicating with their partner, and they are much more likely to feel special and relaxed when the man they are worth focuses on them. And feeling more relaxed can lead touch better sex. Also a man that pays honest attention to his date can make her feel like she is important and not just another body to him.

What's more, most men that women consider great lovers really truly LIKE women. That makes a big difference. The average man in the street makes jokes about women, and doesn't see them as friends. A man that makes women feel liked is going to be a man women like.

Also a man who touches women gently and doesn't rush when he is kissing, touching or stroking makes a woman feel good. So many men want to get through the kissing and the foreplay and go straight to the sex, but women don't feel that way. It makes them feel less relaxed and less like having sex at all. It certainly isn't the way to excite and stimulate most women.

And of course, a great lover knows about the female body. He knows that most women are turned on by gentle bites on the neck and throat while being held from behind. He knows that gently pulling her head back with her hair while kissing her is very exciting for a lot of women.

He also pays attention during sex, and listens to the sounds his lover makes - or doesn't make. He works his way gradually to her nipples and her inner thighs. If something makes her pull back a little, he is paying enough attention to notice, and will stop immediately.

A lover a woman remembers afterward doesn't just stick in his penis and hammer at her. He doesn't stop talking softly to her the minute that intercourse is achieved. Unfortunately most men do.

What really keeps most men from being great lovers - lovers that women remember with a smile for years - is that they have a goal - and they act as if the woman is a means to that goal. They are not sharing an experience or pleasure, they are trying to get off.

Next time you are on a date with a woman, try listening to her - really listening. Talk with her, get to really know her. Enjoy her company, don't focus on the question of whether you will have sex with her later or anything other than the time you are spending with her at that very moment. If you treat every minute you spend with her in this way, and you do not rush, and you make her feel special, she is going to feel great being with you - and that is the most important first step toward being a great lover.

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